Sister refuses to invite brother's girlfriend to Christmas following her judgmental comments about the family at Thanksgiving, brother sets an ultimatum: 'He won't come if she's not invited'

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Oct 31, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

The girlfriend in the story below made a truly bad impression on her boyfriend's family when she joined them for Thanksgiving dinner last year. She called her boyfriend's mom's turkey "too dry", and made his 5-year-old niece think she was stupid because she kept correcting her grammar mistake.

Soon, Christmas will be here, and the boyfriend wants his family to invite his girlfriend to their holiday celebration. However, the family is not too excited to deal with the girlfriend again.

The holidays are a time for you to surround yourself with the people you love. It doesn't even have to be your family if they are not the ones to make you happy. All that matters is that you feel like the people who are with you are those who make you feel most at home.

It makes sense not to want to be forced to spend Thanksgiving or Christmas with strangers or people you barely know, especially if the first impression you had on them is not a positive one.

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  • Should the family invite the judgmental girlfriend to Christmas? Or should they keep her out due to her behavior at Thanksgiving?

  • 01
    Family eating food together for christmas
    via aldomurillo

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITA for telling my brother he can't bring his new girlfriend to Christmas after what happened at Thanksgiving?

    So my brother Jake (32M) has been dating this girl Melissa for maybe 4 months? We met her for the first time at Thanksgiving at my parents' house.
    via sl**dripfairy
  • 03
    The whole day was just kind of uncomfortable. Like she made comments about everything. My mom's turkey was "too dry for her taste," she asked if we "always use store-bought rolls," she mentioned twice that her family does a full seafood spread instead of traditional Thanksgiving food.
    via sl**dripfairy
  • 04
    Which like, okay? Good for you? But the thing that really got me was she kept correcting my 5 year old daughter.
    via sl**dripfairy
  • 05
    My daughter was talking about her school play and said something like "me and my friend are gonna be trees" and Melissa jumps in with "your friend and I, sweetie" in this really condescending voice.
    via sl**dripfairy
  • 06
    Then later my daughter said she "done it" and Melissa did it again, "you DID it." I finally pulled Jake aside and asked him to maybe tell her to ease up on the grammar lessons with my kid, and he got defensive and said Melissa's a teacher and she's just trying to help.
    via sl**dripfairy
  • 07
    I said she's not HER teacher and it's making my daughter feel bad. She overheard us talking and left right after that.
    via sl**dripfairy
  • 08
    Didn't say bye to anyone, just grabbed her coat. Jake followed her out and they left like an hour early.
    via sl**dripfairy
  • 09
    Now Christmas is coming up and my mom asked me if I'm okay with Melissa coming.
    via sl**dripfairy
  • 10
    Apparently Jake said he won't come if she's not invited. I told my mom honestly that I'd rather she didn't come, at least not this year.
    via sl**dripfairy
  • 11
    We barely know her and Thanksgiving was awkward enough. My mom's upset because she doesn't want Jake to skip Christmas but she also doesn't want tension.
    via sl**dripfairy
  • 12
    Introducing Boyfriend or Girlfriend to Parents
    via @monkeybusinessimages

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    Jake texted me yesterday saying I'm being unfair and "punishing Melissa for caring about education" and if she's not welcome then he's not coming.
    via sl**dripfairy
  • 14
    My husband says I should just let it go for the sake of family peace but I don't want another holiday feeling uncomfortable in my own parents' house.
    via sl**dripfairy
  • 15
    AITA for not wanting her there?
    via sl**dripfairy
  • 16
    OP sl dripfairy I guess I should mention that this isn't really about the grammar thing alone, even though that's what pushed me over the edge. The whole day she just had this energy like nothing was good enough. She compared everything to how her family does things. And maybe I'm being sensitive but when someone keeps correcting your kid it feels personal, you know? My daughter actually asked me after they left if "that lady" thought she was dumb. That broke my heart a little. She's 5. She does
    via s**tdripfairy
  • 17
    Aggressive-Pass 7181 NTA but if you're having conflict, here's a thought. Give her one more chance. Now that she knows her attitude came off wrong, see if she does better this time. If she does, maybe you'll find out she was just nervous or having a bad day; it happens. But if not, then Jske can't claim she wasn't given a fair chance. And if he keeps threatening to skip a gathering again... let him.
    via Aggressive-Pass7181
  • 18
    Then-Life-5557 NTA she met your family for the first time and literally decided to insult your moms cooking and condescend a meal she was invited to. She's a rude guest and your brother is being a push over
    via Then-Life-5557
  • 19
    Gathof Baal88 Just tell your brother that she is invited, but her behavior is not. She embarrassed herself at Thanksgiving and she would do well to enjoy the day without correcting anybody for Christmas. If she can't do that, then she will be asked to leave.
    via GathofBaal88
  • 20
    Bonnm42 I would text your Brother and say "Look, if she is a teacher, she should understand that correcting a kid like that, in that setting, could make them feel bad. Also, she may have been nervous and maybe that's why, but she was being very judgmental about a lot of stuff. Mom's turkey was too dry, asking if we always use store bought rolls and all the grammar correcting. It did not make the best impression. If she's willing to realize her comments came off offensive and tries to dial back t
    via Bonnm42
  • 21
    HUNGWHITEBOI25 So...first time meeting you all, she: came to your house for a meal, insulted everyone, was rude to your daughter...but now YOU are the bad guy for not wanting her over anymore? Op is your brother normally this stupid or is a new thing? You are most definitely NTA
    via HUNGWHITEBOI25
  • 22
    MaryContrary26 I might do the opposite. Invite her and every time she says something condescending or judgmental respond with what a lovely thing to say or thank you for your kindness because it will shine a light on how insufferable she is and your brother is more likely to see it even if he tries to rationalize it. Just a thought.
    via MaryContrary26
  • 23
    SnooWoofers496 NTA I think she should be encouraged to enjoy her own family this holiday she can correct their children's grammar while enjoying their Ivars seafood spread.
    via SnooWoofers496
  • 24
    Necessary-Value-4277 Let her come to Christmas. If she pulls the same crap again, start criticizing her manners. If she objects, tell her you teach etiquette and you're just trying to help her out.
    via Necessary-Value-4277

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